How to Work with Different Personality Types in Ministry (Without Losing Your Mind!)

Embracing diverse personalities within church staff can lead to a more harmonious and effective ministry. By understanding, adjusting communication styles, and granting grace, team members can leverage each other's strengths and collaborate more effectively. 

• Understanding various personality types enhances teamwork 
• Active listening promotes clearer communication 
• Adjusting communication styles fosters better interactions 
• Granting grace to each other is key in ministry 
• Celebrating differences can lead to team growth 
• Reflecting on frustrating relationships can shift perspectives

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Church staff teams are full of personality. You've got visionary who's always dreaming big. You've got detailed planners that are always making lists. You have the quiet processors who never really speak in meetings. You have the high-energy leader who never speak in meetings. You have a high-energy leader who never, ever slows down, and sometimes those differences can absolutely drive us crazy. We're going to talk about it today here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. My name is Todd Rhodes. I am one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom and I'm your host here on the podcast for today. And I'm your host here on the podcast for today.

Speaker 1: 0:44

So how do we deal with all these really unique personalities that make up our church staff team? And maybe you don't have staff, maybe you're a solo pastor and you don't have, you know, paid staff. That you know, todd, this doesn't apply to me. This works also not just with paid staff, but also with volunteers and with your board. Everybody brings a different personality to the table. So how do you deal with this? How do you work with all these different personality types in ministry? You're all working for Jesus, right? But how do you do it without losing your freaking mind, right? Okay, here we go. Three ideas for you today on how to work with people.

Speaker 1: 1:32

Okay, first of all, try to understand before you react. Always listen. My mom always said God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. It's true. Try and understand before you react because, truthfully, people don't wake up in the morning thinking how can I be difficult today? All right, most people don't. Okay, I've met a few people. I'm convinced that they do wake up in the morning saying how can I be a thorn in? I'm going to be a thorn for Todd today. Most people don't, though, understand. Try to understand before you react. Okay.

Speaker 1: 2:12

When personality clashes happen, we often misunderstand why people behave the way that they do. The detail-oriented person probably, if you really think about it, is not trying to be difficult when they ask for more clarity, they just need more structure. Okay, they ask for more clarity, they just need more structure. The big picture visionary person isn't ignoring details just to annoy you or tick you off. You may think they are, but they're not. They're big picture visionary people. They genuinely don't see those details that you do as a detailed person. They don't see them as a priority. We'll figure that out when we get there, but it's going to drive you crazy. The quiet introvert isn't disengaged in staff meetings. They're just processing internally before they speak and again, that's me Instead of getting frustrated, start by asking why does this person think this way?

Speaker 1: 3:00

A little bit of understanding really does go a long way. So the first thing you need to do is, before you talk, before you instantly jump to conclusions, before you get upset, understand the type of person and understand why they are probably acting the way they are, before you immediately jump to conclusions. All right, that's the first one. Number two, when you can flex your own communication style If you lead a team, your job isn't just to expect everybody to adjust to you.

Speaker 1: 3:32

You also need to adjust to them. And for your direct, no-nonsense team member, maybe you need to just be clear and to the point. Maybe you're talking with your more relational person, your people first staff member. Maybe you need to take an extra minute with that person because you know how they are, how they're wired, how God's wired them. Maybe you need to take a minute with them and, personally, just jump in, get with them personally, take a little bit of extra time before jumping into the work because they're more relational.

Speaker 1: 4:01

Maybe for your structured person, you need to give them the details. They're more process-driven anyway, so give them details and clear expectations and maybe for somebody that's more spontaneous, an idea-driven colleague, be willing to dream with them before locking down any of the specifics. You don't have to. I'm not asking you to be somebody who you're not. Okay, you don't have to be a chameleon here, but a little intentionality, particularly after you've not jumped to conclusions about what this person is saying and how they're acting. A little bit of intentionality will save you a ton of unnecessary conflict and, as the title of this podcast and video says, it will help you to get along with people and thrive with people without losing your mind.

Speaker 1: 4:49

Okay, and then number three, and this is the last one for today. Anyway, give each other some grace. You know, at the end of the day, church work is people work and people are complicated. I heard somebody say once that I would love working at my church if it just wasn't for the people. I know some days we all feel like that. But guess what Church work is? People work and people are complicated. And you're not going to fix somebody's personality. You can try. It's not going to go well for you, but you can try. But you're not going to fix somebody's personality and, truthfully, that's not your role and you really shouldn't want to do that.

Speaker 1: 5:27

The strengths that drive you crazy in one moment are often the exact strengths that your church needs. Might drive you crazy, but it's exactly that person, is exactly the person that needs to be in that chair at that time, even though it drives you nuts. Instead of getting annoyed, what if you learn to appreciate what each personality brings to the table? That team member who never stops questioning everything might be keeping your church from making a really terrible decision. The colleague who never speaks up in meetings might have some deep wisdom if you really create some space for them to share. That high energy, fast moving leader who never, ever slows down and drives you crazy might be the visionary your church needs for this next season.

Speaker 1: 6:11

Different personalities doesn't mean wrong. It just means different, and that's a good thing. Okay, so here's your bottom line for today. Instead of resenting personality differences, start leveraging them. Take five minutes today or this week to reflect on someone you work with who frustrates you. If you can't think of anybody, give me a call. I'll give you a name of somebody who frustrates me and you can work on that as your case study. Ask yourself what strength does this person who annoys me at times, what strength does their personality bring to the table? How can I adjust my approach to work with them? I promise just this little shift in perspective can absolutely transform your team dynamics and how you feel about the other people on your team, and the best part of it is you won't lose your mind.

Speaker 1: 7:05

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Who's the personality type you struggle with the most? I'd love to hear your story. I love hearing everybody's story. I read every email that comes to me. You can shoot me an email at podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. Seriously, I read every email and if you or your church is struggling to build a team that actually works together, let's talk. I work at chemistry staffing and we can help you find kind of the right fit for your staff culture and if there's a way that I can come alongside and partner with you and your church, I would love to do so. Just reach out to me anytime. Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. All right, thanks for hanging out with me today. Remember, working with different personalities doesn't have to be painful as long as you don't try to make everyone exactly like you. All right, thanks so much and we'll see you next time.