The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
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The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
Before You Go - Is Your Family Ready for This Move?
Transitioning to a new church position impacts more than just the minister; it affects the entire family. The episode explores the critical questions pastors should consider regarding their family's readiness, emphasizing the importance of open communication, emotional support, and financial considerations.
• Evaluating spousal perspectives before making a move
• Considering the emotional impact on children during transitions
• Assessing the availability of support systems in the new area
• Importance of financial stability for family well-being
• Allowing time for families to process the idea of moving
• Engaging in open discussions to align family interests and concerns
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Hey there, welcome to the Healthy Church Staff podcast. My name's Todd Rhodes. I am your host and also one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom. Is your family ready for you to take a new ministry position? Today we're often focusing, or we're focusing on, an often overlooked question in ministry transitions. I know we think about it, but do we think about it hard enough? Is your family ready for a move, particularly if it's a big geographic move? Is your family ready for it?
Speaker 1:We're in the middle of a series we're two weeks in. We've got one more week next week where we're talking about questions that every pastor should ask when they're in transition, when they're leaving a church. Maybe you're leaving your church and you're thinking about going to another church. What are some of the questions you should ask before you make that decision? And our series is based on a book called Before you Go Questions Every Pastor Must Ask Before Moving to a New Church. It's written by Wade Hodges. It's an excellent book. Stick around until the end of today and I will tell you how to get an absolutely free copy if you've not already gotten a copy of the book before you go.
Speaker 1:Today, though, we are talking about family transitions, so ministry training, when you take a new job. Sure, it affects you. It affects your livelihood, your salary, it affects you personally, it affects your career. But it doesn't just affect you, it affects your entire family and that's something that Wade writes a whole chapter on. It's really good in the book and he emphasizes that any move should. If you have a family, if you have a wife or a husband and kids, every family, every move should be a team decision and that should be made with input and buy-in from everyone involved. So here are some things to consider as we talk about is my family? You might be totally ready for a move, but your wife, your spouse, isn't. You could say, no, I'm not ready for a move yet, and your spouse could say, no, we need to get out of Dodge.
Speaker 1:So here's some things to consider when assessing your family's readiness for a move. First, is your spouse is really important? You need to consider your spouse's perspective. Is your spouse? We always ask this when we talk to candidates and it's not because the church is hiring your spouse, that's not it at all. It's just we want to know how is your spouse feeling about this potential transition, this potential move? How does she feel about leaving? Or if we're talking to a gal, how does your husband feel about leaving their small group? How do they feel about leaving their kids' school? If you're moving houses? All those things are really important. So we ask it and it's something you need to ask yourself Is my spouse excited? Is my spouse hesitant? Is he or she unsure about the move? Open and honest communication is absolutely essential in ensuring that their concerns and their hopes are heard.
Speaker 1:You need to consider the impact on your children. If you have children, how will the move affect your kids? Consider ages, your kids' ages and their school situations and their friendships and their overall well-being. How are your kids doing where they are? How would they do with a move, because a move can be especially challenging for kids and for teenagers.
Speaker 1:Look at your support systems. Will your family have access to a supportive community in the new location? Are you moving away or closer to family or friends? A strong church community, especially if you're moving away from family and friends, can really make a huge difference, and I know we've talked about this on the podcast even a couple times this week about work-life balance. But this as you look at your family situation will this role support a healthy work-life balance that gives ultimately benefits to your family. You need to ensure that the job's demands won't create more stress at home and then look at financial stability. Is the compensation package at the church that you're thinking about going to? Is it adequate? Will it meet your family's needs? Because probably, if you're like most families, the last thing you need is financial stress added on top of just the stress of having a family. It can take a toll on everyone. And then just time time for adjustment. Has your family had enough time to process this idea of a move? Rushing the decision can lead to a lot of anxiety and a lot of resentment, and I want to go back just to one thing before I give you the bottom line for today, when I go back to talking about how your spouse is ready or not ready for a move, let me just encourage you to think of how your spouse. Let me talk to husbands here first, because I'm a husband, so I understand this a little bit more.
Speaker 1:When you are considering a move, you are considering a totally different set of concerns than your wife is bringing to the table. You're considering okay, you're considering financial. Am I going to be? Is this a good move financially for us. Is this a good move? Career move for us Is this a good move? Just kind of culture, all the jobby type stuff, right? Your wife brings a whole different set of concerns. She's thinking am I going to have to box up everything that I own and put it in a moving truck? She's worried about finances too. How are we going to make this move financially? Is it going to be good for us financially? She's worried about finances too. How are we going to make this move financially? Is it going to be good for us financially?
Speaker 1:She's worried about the kids. You're worried about the kids, but she's really worried about the kids she's worried about they're going to leave their friends, they're going to leave their school. She's going to be really concerned about that. And then she's going to be looking at it from a relational standpoint much more than you are. Most women do, and I'm not trying to be sexist or anything, but most women are going to be looking at this is a huge thing. You're going to go off to work and do your thing and you're going to have those professional relationships built in. She's going to lose her small group. She's going to lose her friend base professional relationships built in. She's going to lose her small group. She's going to lose her friend base. She's going to lose the teachers that she works with and the parents that she works with and her volunteers that she works with. She's going to lose a lot of that.
Speaker 1:So just know that your spouse, your wife in particular, is thinking about this. She's worried about are we going to be able to find a house? Are the schools going to be good for the kids? We've got to check out the schools. We can't just send them to the first public school there is. Are there private schools? Can we afford all those kind of things? You're thinking vocationally and ministry-wise. She's thinking practically what does this mean for me and my family? So that's the bottom line. As a matter of fact, I'm going to change my bottom line just on the spur of the moment is that having your family involved, and particularly your spouse, is just absolutely key. Your spouse's readiness. She has to be just as ready. He has to be just as ready as you are and taking the time to really put yourself in their shoes and assess their needs and their concerns. It's really a huge part of having a healthy transition. Okay, I hope that's been helpful to you, man.
Speaker 1:This is something that's really important because, in my role at Chemistry Staffing, we talk with a lot of candidates every day and the topic of family comes up so much and you need to make sure that your family is healthy. If your family is not healthy, if your spouse and your kids are not excited about a potential move, man, it's going to make that move. It significantly drops the percentage of success that this move is going to have for you and your family. It's going to be incredibly stressful if everyone is not on board, if everyone is not excited. So maybe you're struggling with this. You just need somebody to talk to, maybe you need a coaching session here or just Todd, answer me this. Feel free to reach out to me.
Speaker 1:Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. I'd love to hear from you and I hope you'll continue to listen to the podcast. Next week we're going to continue our series really important series that we're doing about questions that you should ask before you go to your next church. All right, thank you. It is Friday. If you're watching or listening to this podcast on a Friday, I hope you have a great weekend and we will see you right back here on Monday on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. Have an absolutely great weekend.
