The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
We're all about helping create a healthy, positive, and spiritually positive environment for church staff members and leadership teams.
The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
The Ministry Masquerade_ When You're Pretending to Be Okay
Have questions or comments? Send to podcast@chemistrystaffing.com
Be sure to subscribe to The Healthy Church Staff Podcast wherever you regularly listen to podcasts.
- - - - -
Is Your Church Hiring?
If your church is searching for a new staff member, reach out to Todd for a conversation on how he might be able to help.
Are You Looking for a New Ministry Role?
If you are open to a new church role in the next few months, add your free resume and profile at ChemistryStaffing.com.
On the outside, everything looks fine. Peachy King, right? You're smiling, you're showing up, you're preaching, you're leaving, you're creating. Inside makes a different story. You just feel like you're crumbling. In this brutally honest episode of the Healthy Church Death Podcast, I want to dig into what I call the ministry masquerade and why so many leaders wear masks just to survive, what it costs us over time, and how we can lead with authenticity without losing our credibility. So if you feel like you're keeping up airs, this episode's for you. Hi there, my name is Todd Rhodes, one of the co-founders over chemistry staffing.com, and you're listening to the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. You're fine, right? Everything's okay. You're holding it together, you're showing up, you're performing well. At least everyone would say that you're performing well. Anybody that's looking at you, they would say, man, that guy's really thriving. She's really after it. But inside, man, you just feel hollow and overwhelmed. Maybe even a little bit of despair or hopelessness. When you drive into that church parking lot to go to your office in the morning, it's just it's hard. And I've been there. I've been there. That's what I call the ministry masquerade. And it's time to name it. Because hiding it won't heal you. We're in the middle of our healthy church staff assessment this year. You can take it at churchstaffassessment.com. One of the things that we're hearing over and over again this year, this is the third year that we were doing it, is that church leaders are tired. And you think, Todd, why do you keep talking about health and burnout and everything on the podcast? It's because a lot of church leaders are, it's almost like a double life. And it's because the church many times has rewarded the mask, right? They expect leaders who never flinch, leaders who always smile, leaders who push through no matter what it costs them personally or their family. And somewhere, sometimes, some way along the way, we believed that this is what strength looks like in ministry. Maybe it's because that's what our boards expect of us. I don't know. But all it really does is train us to hide. And over time, the gap between who we are and how we're feeling inside and who we really are on the outside, they're two different things. And the difference grows and grows over time. And it and it costs us a lot. It costs us a lot. I've been there, so I'm not making this stuff up when I say it costs us a lot. You can become emotionally numb. You can become where you just get to a point where you just disconnect from your team. Uh, maybe there's a growing risk of implosion or moral failure. I see this all the time in pastors where it starts off to where everybody thinks everything's going great and inside they're crumbling. And that's when a lot of moral failures are just moral implosions happen. It's when you're just you start to feel that numbness. Maybe there's a lack of genuine community, and pretending might get you applause for a little bit, but it won't get you healed. And it's not going to get you any better, and it's not going to get you healthy. And the longer that we perform, the longer we have that mask on, the harder it becomes to get out of that, number one, and number two, just to ask for help. So, what does real strength look like in leadership? We all want to be a leader who has it all together, even though we don't. But um, how do we lead with strength? What does strength in leadership look like? Strength and leadership looks like a leader who asks for support before the spiral. It's a leader who invites a few safe people into their truth. It means you don't overshare. That's not what that means. It means aligning your public self with your private reality. Are there people that know you're struggling? If you're struggling, are there people or are you carrying that burden all by yourself? Sometimes we even hide it from our spouse because we don't want it to be a burden on them. But because true authority really flows from authenticity, it's really important that you invite somebody in. If you're struggling, you need to invite somebody in. My final thought for today, that it's gonna be a short episode today, because that's it, right? If you're struggling, you can't do it on your own. You've got to invite people in. The most powerful leaders that I know aren't the ones who can fake it best. They're not the ones who everybody looks at them and says, man, they're hitting it out of the park. And internally they're just crendling. They're the ones who refuse to live that divided life. They're the ones the best leaders are the ones that refuse to wear the mask. They're gonna take off the mask and they're gonna invite people in. So where do you feel most tempted to wear a mask in ministry? We've all got our areas. But where are you most compelled just to put on that mask and to say, hey, everything's okay here? Nothing to see here. But inside, man, you just crumbled. My encouragement to you is if you're in that situation, reach out to somebody, reach out to a friend, even share it with your spouse. But I would encourage you to find somebody other than your spouse so you can kind of share where you're struggling. And if you don't have anybody, reach out to me, podcast at chemistry staffing.com. I'd love to have a conversation with you. I'm not trying to make any money or get a sale here. I just want to make sure that you're healthy. And if you're wearing that mask right now, I'd love to have a conversation, see if we can't get you a little bit of help to get you back on a healthy stage. That's really what it's all about. All right, that's it for today's podcast. Again, if you want to take the healthy church staff assessment, you can do that. It's just help staff, churchstaffassessment.com. All right, we'll be right back here tomorrow for you right here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast.
