The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
We're all about helping create a healthy, positive, and spiritually positive environment for church staff members and leadership teams.
The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
The Secret Staff Member Everyone’s Afraid Of
You know exactly who they are—that staff member, volunteer, or board member everyone tiptoes around. Though their title doesn't suggest it, they wield extraordinary influence, derailing meetings, intimidating co-workers, and quietly holding your ministry hostage. Nobody knows quite how to confront this person or even name what's happening. Sound familiar?
This hidden power dynamic creates a culture dominated by fear rather than trust. People stop sharing honest feedback, good staff members eventually leave, while the problematic person remains, further entrenching their unofficial authority. Whether it's a long-time administrative assistant "who knows where all the bodies are buried," a worship leader with emotional sway, or an associate pastor who's mastered passive-aggressive sabotage, the longer this dynamic continues unchecked, the more your entire team walks on eggshells.
The solution starts with courage—naming the reality that an unhealthy power imbalance exists. From there, clarify roles and decision-making authority, build a culture that supports honest communication without fear of retaliation, address the issue directly with the individual, and support your team through the transition. Remember, one toxic power source can silently drain your entire organization's health, but addressing it prevents a more dramatic implosion. If you're struggling with this dynamic, reach out to us at podcast@chemistrystaffing.com. We're ready to hear your story and explore how we might help you develop a healthier church staff culture where leadership actually leads.
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Okay, there's a staff member on your team that people tiptoe around, they control more than they should, they derail meetings, they intimidate co-workers, they quietly hold your ministry hostage, but nobody knows how to confront it or even how to name it. Do you have somebody like this on your staff? Maybe you've got a volunteer like that. Maybe you've got a board member like this. Today, we're going to expose some of the dynamics of this hidden power imbalance on church staffs, boards and volunteer teams, explain why it happens and walk through maybe some practical steps to help regain healthy leadership without blowing up your entire church and your culture. So I'm glad you're here for today's episode of the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. My name is Todd Rhodes, I'm one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom and I'm your host. So glad that you get to be here today and I look forward to spending a little bit of time with you here on the podcast. So what if the most powerful person on your church staff or your volunteer team or your board isn't the senior pastor? What if that one person, the one everybody avoids, the one everybody knows who it is, who holds invisible control over decisions and people and direction? What if you've got that person? We're going to name that today. We're going to try and give you some solutions and some understanding on the podcast today.
Speaker 1:So the power that nobody talks about. Every church, just about every church, has somebody with more influence than what their title will suggest. It might be a long-time admin person who knows where all the bodies are buried. It could be the worship leader with emotional sway over the team. Maybe it's an associate pastor who's mastered the passive-aggressive sabotage that they are known for behind the scenes. They don't wear a crown, but everyone acts like they do, and the longer it goes unchecked, the more everybody walks on eggshells. So why is this a problem? It's a problem because it creates a culture of fear and not trust. People stop sharing honest feedback. Good staff members eventually leave, but the problem person guess what? They're still here, they stay, they're not going anywhere.
Speaker 1:So how do you diagnose the real issue? The dynamic isn't usually just about one person. Okay, we like to think it's just about that one problem person, but it's bigger than that. It's about the system that lets it happen. So ask yourself why do people ask permission from this person, even if it's not their job to grant it? Who gets defensive or manipulative when questioned? Who has the unofficial veto power, and sometimes these people didn't even seek this control. Maybe it was handed to them in the past, or even in the present, by weak or avoidant leadership. Other times they earned influence, but now they're just misusing it and it could be out of security, it could be totally out of ego. All right.
Speaker 1:So you've identified this, you've got somebody in your head, somebody in your mind that comes to mind. What do you do about it without burning the place down? I think the first thing you have to do. Step one is you have to admit it. Okay, name that dynamic privately, say it out loud in leadership meetings. I think there's an unhealthy power imbalance here. That's going to be difficult, but the first thing you got to do to make it better is to identify the issue and to call it out.
Speaker 1:Step number two you may need to clarify some rules and authority or charts sometimes matter in these kinds of instances and be specific about who decides what and why. And then, step three build a culture that supports honesty. If your team can't name problems without retaliation, you're not leading a team. You're managing fear. Step four address it with the individual. Leading a team, you're managing fear. Step four address it with the individual, not punitively, but you, I know none of us like confrontation. You don't want to be punitive, but you do need to be direct and you do need to go in and set clear boundaries for the person that is overstepping. Step five support the team, your staff team, through that transition. Even healthy correction can cause tremors and conflict. So you got to communicate and support and stabilize your culture.
Speaker 1:Here's the bottom line for today. One toxic power source, one person, can silently drain the health of your entire staff, your entire team, your entire organization. But don't wait until it explodes. Say something, do something and lead with courage. Maybe you're not sure exactly, todd, you can't give me everything I need to know in a five-minute podcast. Maybe you'd like to talk and find somebody that can kind of coach you through this. It could come alongside your team to help you identify how to alleviate this. Not this person, but this fear that's going on your team.
Speaker 1:Reach out to me. I'd love to have a conversation, hear your story. I'd love to hear your stories. You can reach out to me, podcastchemistrystaffingcom. Tell me a little bit in the email what you're dealing with. We can hop on a quick Zoom call and see if there's any way that I or someone on my team here at Chemistry Staffing can walk alongside of you, if it makes sense, to help you with this issue and to help you develop to get from where you are to having a healthy church staff culture. So again, my podcast is or. My name is Todd and my email you can reach out to me at podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. All right, thanks so much for joining me today. We are here every Monday through Friday on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast and I hope you'll join me again right here tomorrow. Have a great day you.
