The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
We're all about helping create a healthy, positive, and spiritually positive environment for church staff members and leadership teams.
The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
When Staff Loyalty Becomes Dysfunction
Loyalty in church staff isn't always a virtue – sometimes what appears as faithfulness may actually be fear in disguise, potentially damaging your church staff structure. We explore the crucial differences between healthy commitment and unhealthy codependency in ministry teams.
• Fear masquerading as faithfulness keeps staff in draining roles because they feel stuck
• Common fears include appearing disloyal, disappointing leaders, financial instability, or divine punishment
• Warning signs include stagnant growth, protecting unhealthy patterns, avoiding difficult conversations, and flatlining passion
• Healthy loyalty is rooted in freedom, not fear, and remains open-handed rather than clingy
• Creating an "exit-affirming" culture celebrates calling over control
• True loyalty exists when staff feel free to leave but choose to stay
• Longevity doesn't necessarily equal health in church staffing
Reach out anytime at podcast@chemistrystaffing.com if you're wrestling with keeping your team healthy and thriving. This is what we do at Chemistry, and we're ready to talk when you are.
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here's a tough question for you today. Is your most loyal team member really committed or are they just afraid to leave? Looks like faithfulness might actually be fear in disguise and it could be killing your church staff structure and culture. Let's talk about that today right here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. My name is Todd Rhodes. I'm one of the performers over at chemistrystaffingcom and I'm so glad that you're here today.
Speaker 1:We're going to talk about the loyalty illusion today. Loyalty is a real virtue in ministry, but not all loyalty is created equal. In fact, sometimes we call commitment. What we call commitment is actually maybe a little bit more like, if we're being honest, codependency. So I believe that in the mission and choose to stay. That's what some people say. That's the healthy thing to say. I believe in the mission and I choose to stay. But the unhealthy loyalty says something more like this. It's a little nuanced. I don't know where else to go and I'm a little scared to find out. If you're not sure, ask yourself does your staff feel empowered to stay or maybe more guilted into staying? Those are two totally different things.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's talk about the fear that masquerades as faithfulness, because many staff members will stay in roles that are clearly draining them, not because they're called out, but more because maybe they feel a little bit stuck. The common fears that kind of get people in this mode is the fear of appearing disloyal or unspiritual. They're just afraid to make a decision because of that. Maybe they're fearful of disappointing a mentor or even a senior pastor. Maybe they're fearful of losing financial stability. Maybe there's a fear of starting over or maybe being punished by God. But let's be real All of this type of ministry guilt can be a really powerful trap and it often wears the mask you guessed it of faithfulness. Okay.
Speaker 1:So what are the signs, todd? What are the signs of potential dysfunctional loyalty? Here are some possible ways that you can spot it. Maybe they no longer grow, but they won't consider other opportunities. Maybe they consistently say I'm fine, but you know that clearly they're not. Maybe they protect unhealthy patterns in leadership more out of fear than anything else. Maybe they avoid hard conversations that they used to step into and they say it's just not worth the drama. Maybe their passion has just flatlined you've noticed it, but they're still in the seat. So that's not necessarily loyalty. That's more survival than loyalty.
Speaker 1:So what does the opposite look like? What does healthy loyalty actually look like Healthy loyalty? It's rooted in freedom, not fear. It is willing to step into those conversations. It's willing to have hard conversations, to speak truth even when that's uncomfortable. It's open-handed, not closed-fisted, open-handed, not clingy, and it trusts God's calling over their own job security. So if your staff members know they can leave and still choose to stay, that's the kind of loyalty that's worth building on.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you're a leader. What can you do about this? Maybe you've never thought of it like this before, but if you suspect that there's unhealthy loyalty in your church staff, what do you do? Here are a few suggestions I have for you today.
Speaker 1:Okay, first is just ask open-ended questions. Ask people on your team if you feel like they might be slipping into this unhealthy loyalty. Ask them things like if you ever did feel released to leave, what would that look like for you? Maybe you create just a different culture. That's almost exit affirming, if I can say it that way. Make it okay to leave. Every church has a culture. Some churches have a culture where it's okay to leave Other churches. If you mention that, even mention, even begin to mention, even think about mentioning that you might be looking somewhere else, you'll find yourself standing outside the church doors holding a box with all your belongings. So create an exit-affirming culture so that it's okay to leave and you can bless them as they leave, celebrate, calling over control. Show that you care more about their flourishing than about your staffing chart. And because here's the truth when staff feel free to go but they choose to stay, that's when you really got something healthy going on.
Speaker 1:Okay. So as I leave you today, I want you to think about this. Not every long-term staffer is a sign of health. Longevity doesn't mean doesn't equal health. There are some warning lights that might be blinking quietly on the dashboard, and if so, you've got some work to do. You've got to redefine what loyalty looks like and lead with the kind of freedom that really fosters that true faithfulness. Hey, if you're wrestling through how to keep your team healthy and thriving, I would love to have a conversation with you. See if there's any way that I can help your church or someone on my team here at Chemistry. This is what we do, and you might not be ready to talk to somebody, but when you are, we're here and we're ready to talk to you. You can reach out to me anytime. Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom, love to have a conversation with you and I hope you'll join me again here next time right here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. Have a great weekend, you.
