Showing Appreciation for Those Who Serve Alongside Our Leaders

Unlock the secrets to nurturing a supportive and harmonious ministry environment by embracing the often-overlooked role of pastor spouses. How can church staff members ensure these vital members of the ministry feel valued and empowered? Join me, Todd Rhoades, as we explore the unique challenges and opportunities faced by pastor spouses, inspired by an eye-opening article from Outreach Magazine. Discover practical strategies to cultivate genuine connections and foster a culture of appreciation that acknowledges their invaluable contributions.

Throughout this episode, I share insights on how church staff can step beyond their usual roles to build meaningful relationships with pastor spouses. Learn the importance of viewing them as individuals with their own passions and challenges, and find out how to provide meaningful support during transitions and everyday ministry life. We'll discuss why recognizing the diverse perspectives within our church teams can lead to stronger dynamics and a more effective ministry. Tune in to explore ways to create a thriving community that champions the voices of pastor spouses and enhances overall ministry success.

Have questions or comments? Send to podcast@chemistrystaffing.com

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Hi there, welcome to the Healthy Church Staff Podcast, Todd Rhodes here. I'm one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom and also your host here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. We're here every day, monday through Friday. If this is your first podcast listening, I'm so glad you're here. Hope you'll consider subscribing and joining us every day.

Speaker 1: 0:28

Today we want to widen the circle a little bit and consider those who serve alongside of us our spouses. As church staff members, we have a unique opportunity to come alongside of spouses, not just our own spouses, but the spouses of other people on our team and the reason I wanted to talk about this. I was recently reading an article in Outreach Magazine and it was written by a pastor spouse and it really opened my eyes to some of the unique joys and challenges that our staff spouses face day to day. They talked about the pressure to be on all the time and the struggle to balance family life with ministry demands and the feeling of being both seen and heard, and it got me thinking. How can we as a church staff create a culture where our pastor's spouses feel valued and supported and empowered? And I've got a few ideas here for you, but let me take. I saw a squirrel here, so I want to talk about the squirrel here for a second. But, as in my work at Chemistry Staffing, we talk with candidates male and female candidates all day long, and one of the things that we hear often from candidates because we always ask them how's your wife, how's your husband, doing with this transition, or how does your husband or your wife feel about this church that we're talking to you, about possibly going to? And what we try to emphasize with both the men and the women that we talk to, that are married, that have spouses, is that it's really important for you to consider where your spouse is at in ministry, particularly when you're in transition or you're considering a transition from one ministry role to another. But just normally. And here's why and a lot of people think tell us that's really good, that's good advice, because I hadn't really thought about it like that.

Speaker 1: 2:22

But let's take a guy that's maybe you're a worship pastor and you're thinking about moving, or maybe you just got fired or just got let go because of budget issues or whatever. But you need to find a different role. You as a guy are thinking where am I going to work? How much am I going to make? Am I going to be able to provide for my family? Those kind of things, ministry related things, right? Your wife, your spouse, is probably thinking something totally different. That's the beauty of a marriage, right? Is that they bring a totally different set of concerns. They're thinking more where are we going to live? Where are our kids going to go to school? Where am I going to shop? Are there parks nearby? How am I going to cultivate new relationships and leave all of my support system? How are we going to pay for all of it? They're thinking totally different things.

Speaker 1: 3:15

And if you serve on a staff that has if you're not a solo pastor, if you have people on your staff or you're a staff member and have other people, it's important to have great relationships with the rest of your staff. But it's also man. It's so important to have relationships or at least should I say that we need to support, find ways to be supportive of our pastoral spouses, both men and women, wives and husbands, because they're in ministry as well, but they have a totally different set of things that they're dealing with than what our staff members are. All right. So here's some ideas. First of all, treat them as individuals. Get to know them beyond their role as a pastor's spouse, what are their interests and their passions and their struggles, and how can we support them, both personally and financially? I think it's really important for staff members to get together. Couples get together with couples, small groups of maybe it's just pastor spouses, maybe it's husbands and wives getting together. But you need to get to know the pastor's spouses personally right, and, secondly, offer them some help.

Speaker 1: 4:28

Ministry life can be hectic. Are there ways that we can come alongside of them and support them, particularly in times of struggle or need? But are there ways as a church, as a staff, as a board, that we can support our staff and our spouses? Can we offer child care, can we offer some meals, can we help with some errands or anything to lighten their load? So can we offer some practical support?

Speaker 1: 4:53

And then, finally, I wish more churches created. I'll just say it is let's try to create a space of vulnerability. The reality of it is, pastor spouses often feel pressure to have it all together and we don't always have it all together, can I say that? So creating a space where they can be honest about their struggles and feel supported is just really huge. And then I'll leave you with this.

Speaker 1: 5:24

They're an important part of your team. They might not be a paid part of your team, but they are an important part of your team and it's really important for you to make sure that they are healthy, that marriages are healthy and that you can celebrate their contributions healthy and that you can celebrate their contributions. So acknowledge and appreciate the ways that they serve and the ways that they support your church, whether it's through teaching or hospitality or volunteer work behind the scenes work. That's really important. And I've got one more for you. This is a bonus.

Speaker 1: 5:51

Okay, protect their boundaries. Protect their boundaries, respect their need for privacy. Respect their need for family time. Avoid making unreasonable demands or expecting them to be available 24 7. They are not on your staff. Okay, they are. This is not a twofer deal. You didn't hire the husband and also get the wife, or you didn't hire the wife and also get the husband on call 24-7. So, protect their boundaries. Respect their need for privacy in their family time. Okay, as church staff members, we've got a responsibility. We need to support our pastors and our pastor spouses and, if we can create this culture of care and respect and appreciation and support them in their families and in their marriages and help them thrive in their roles and find joy in the journey of ministry alongside their spouses. It's going to make a huge difference.

Speaker 1: 6:48

And to all the pastor spouses listening today I know there's some of you out there listening thank you, thank you for your service, thank you for your sacrifice, thank you for your unwavering support of your husband, of your wife, of your church. We see you, we value you and hopefully we're here for you. All right, I hope this is helpful for you today. And the bottom line today how are you supporting the spouses of the people on your team? Are there ways that you can reach out today to make that happen? All right, I hope you'll join us again tomorrow right here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. I'm Todd Rhodes. Have a great day.