The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
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The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
Hersheys, and the Difficult People You Encounter at Church
Ever found yourself at a loss on how to handle a church member who seems to have a spiritual gift for causing headaches? Join me, Todd Rhoades, and let’s unravel the mystery of managing difficult personalities in church ministry. We kick things off with a bizarre legal battle—a lawsuit against Hershey's over a Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin that lacked a face might just be the perfect metaphor for the unpredictability we face from tough individuals in our churches. Drawing from this oddball news piece, we're setting the stage for a week-long journey into identifying and navigating the tumultuous seas of ministerial relationships.
Tune in as we outline the traits of four types of challenging churchgoers you're bound to encounter, and arm yourself with practical tactics to not just endure, but thrive in these interactions. From prayers to proactive strategies, we're not just talking about keeping your sanity—we're exploring how these encounters can be transformative, fostering growth and serving as a crucible for your development as a church leader. So don't just brace for impact; get ready to learn how to dance in the storm with the wisdom shared throughout this week's episodes.
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Hi there and welcome to the Healthy Church Staff podcast. My name is Todd Rhodes, I'm one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom and this week we are taking a special look at difficult people. If you've been in ministry I always say if you've been in ministry longer than five minutes you've probably encountered at least one difficult person in your ministry and we're going to talk about that all week. We're going to introduce the topic today and then the later part of this week we're going to the last four episodes Tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday. We're going to take a look at four different types of difficult people. So I hope you'll stick with us. If you haven't already subscribed, subscribe to the podcast so you get each and every episode, monday through Friday, five minutes or less and geared specifically to help you in your role as a church staff member.
Speaker 0:Okay, today we're going to start by telling a little bit of a story ripped from the news headlines here within the past month and it's a story maybe you heard about it Hershey, the big candy company, was recently hit with a five million dollar by a woman in Florida. Now it's probably not all that unusual for Hershey to get sued for different things, but this loss struck me as being ludicrous. So I read it. I just thought really. So here's the corrects of the lawsuit.
Speaker 0:A lady in Florida bought a package a multi-pack I think what six or eight come in a pack of the Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins over the holiday season and she was appalled, dismayed, just absolutely flabbergasted at the fact that when she opened up her Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin, the peanut butter pumpkin that she was about to eat did not look at all like the Peter Butter Pumpkin. That's hard to say peanut butter pumpkin. That was on the label. You see the label. The plastic wrapper had a picture of a pumpkin that had a face on it. It had triangles and just a regular jack-o'-lantern. And I guess she thought when she opened up the actual peanut butter pumpkin that she was going to eat that it would also have that jack-o'-lantern face on it. But oh my goodness, it didn't. It was just a piece of chocolate that kind of looked like a pumpkin.
Speaker 0:So she decided to sue. It cost her $4.49 back in October to buy this package of Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins. But she decided this has got to stop, I am going to sue them. And she actually got a lawyer to take the case for $5.15 million, $5 million. Okay, all right. So here's where I'm going with this.
Speaker 0:This lawsuit to you may seem absurd and frivolous it sure does to me but here's what I want you to take away from this. It illustrates the reality that, as church staff members, you face many different types of people. This woman that brought this lawsuit may go to your church. Not everybody is totally rational or reasonable, matter of fact. Some people are irrational and unreasonable and hard to please. And working in a church, if you don't know this, let me tell you some cold, hard truth. It can be challenging and rewarding, but it can also expose you to criticism and to conflict and to complaints from people who have different expectations or different preferences or different opinions than you do. Okay, so it's inevitable You're going to deal with difficult people.
Speaker 0:They're in every church, they're everywhere you turn. So how can you deal with that? How can you deal with difficult people Are people that just rub you the wrong way, and what I want to do today, just to accept the groundwork, is to talk about four quick things that you can do as you deal with a difficult person. The first one I almost hesitate to say it because if I say it, people are going to say I'm trite If I don't say it. They're going to say you didn't even take time to pray. So the first thing is pray for that person and maybe, as I've been talking here, someone comes to your mind. You've got this person's picture in your head. Have you prayed for them? Jesus taught us that he might not be our enemy, but he taught us to love our enemies, to pray for those who persecute us, pray for difficult people, and praying for them just can help you to see them maybe in a different way, as God sees them, maybe to have a little bit more compassion and grace. So, if you haven't, you might even want to hit pause on the podcast. Now come back to it, but hit pause on the podcast and maybe just say a quick prayer for the person that you find to be extremely difficult. Okay, so pray for them.
Speaker 0:Second thing is examine yourself. Before you judge, before you confront somebody else, make sure that you are not the problem right. Make sure that you don't have a plank in your own eye when your brother just has a speck in his. So examine yourself. Are you contributing to the problem? Are you being unreasonable in any way? Maybe your prayer, through your prayer, that'll loosen you up a little bit. But examine yourself, make sure that you're not bringing some of this to the table. And then, thirdly, so you pray, you examine, communicate.
Speaker 0:Clearly, a lot of times difficult people and misunderstandings and disagreements can really pretty easily be avoided or resolved just by some communication, some clear and honest communication. Don't assume or guess that someone else knows what someone else is thinking or feeling or that they know what you're thinking or feeling. So ask questions, communicate with them, talk to them, listen to them, share your perspective respectfully, but be gentle. But a lot of times we just avoid the person. That's difficult because we don't want to deal with them. But if you pray and examine and you communicate, that will really help the situation. Okay, a couple more things and we'll get you out of here for today. Maybe you've prayed and you've examined and you've communicated and it's still this person's just difficult.
Speaker 0:Sometimes you just have to set boundaries. So that's the fourth thing Set boundaries. Sometimes you may just need to limit your interaction with somebody who is toxic, somebody who's decisive. You don't have to agree or accommodate everybody's demands or preferences and, matter of fact, you can say no or refer them to somebody else. That can help them, maybe a little bit better. But even Paul in the New Testament and Titus, I believe it is said to warn a divisive person once or twice and then not to have anything to do with them.
Speaker 0:Okay, so I'm not saying don't have anything to do with people difficult people but I am saying sometimes you have to set some boundaries and, lastly, seek some help If you're really struggling. If this person is really inside your head and you're just really struggling to deal with a difficult person maybe they're causing you some undue stress or anxiety or burnout don't hesitate to seek help from others you can talk to, maybe a friend, a mentor, another staff member, a counselor, anybody that you trust that can help you, that maybe doesn't have a dog in this fight with this person that can help you. Hey, I might be an unreasonable here. Hey, how can I deal with this person that could really help? Okay, so, pray, examine, communicate, set your boundaries if you need to, and seek some help. Okay, I hope that was helpful to you.
Speaker 0:I hope McDonald's resolves their lawsuit as well, but later on this week, every day, we are going to be looking, for the rest of the remainder of this week, at four types of difficult people. You won't want to miss it. Subscribe to the podcast. If you have any questions or comments, you can always get those right straight to me just by emailing me at podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. Thanks, we'll see you tomorrow.
